Proposal for Blogville PD

Hey Everyone!
Wow, I have had something on my canine brain for a while now, and I'm finally ready to step up to the plate and let fly!     Here goes:::::



To Mayor-Elect Madi
From Sarge, Chief Of Police
Date  November 21, 2012

Subject:  Remodel of Blogville Police Station and Jail

Ms Madi, I humbly submit that our current facility is in need of modernization.  The station and jail are rather old and, well, um.....how to say this....okay, it was built for peeps!    It is my hope that with your leadership and the support of the community, my proposal will be accepted.

I offer the following exhibits to support my request.

 

We have just a little bit of deterioration here...

well, okay, lots of it!   It's totally drafty in the Winter cold!

BOL   ahem.

 Picture of our current jail cells.    Certainly designed for peeps.  I mean look at the height of those shelves!   A tall prisoner could reach, but everyone else is stuck trying to climb.  Bad news for the vertically-challenged.  Note the lack of trees, litter boxes, newspapers or straw.     Besides, check out that ugly lime green....YUCK!!

 

And, these bars...See how high the locks are!  

 I can barely reach them even on my tippy-toes.

Another exhibit for your consideration... Please consider our lineup room!   

See the height markings on that wall?

RIGHT...IT'S DESIGNED FOR PEEPS.  

 Sure, a great dane or a horse or a giraffe could line up here, 

but it's pretty useless for most of our needs.

Now, this conference room is in pretty good shape, but check out the furniture.

I submit that these chairs and tables are suited for peeps.  Now, I can jump into a chair and even stand on a table when I need to, but really, I request new furniture tailor-made for us.

Please accept this exhibit as justification for the purchase of new equipment.  For example, this is our current printing equipment...again, great for peeps, lousy for us.  IT'S A "FINGER" PRINTER!   FINGER, not paw, claw, talon, hoof, etc.    Small paws can be printed on this, but for larger criminals, this just doesn't work.   For the sake of professionalism, we should quit using finger paint, paint rollers, and big pads of paper.  BOL  ahem.   Here are some of the more unfortunate experiences we've had:

What a mess!  Gotta be a better way to print a perp!

 Our current computer systems are actually sufficient, however, the front desk is peep-height.  I can do this for quite awhile, then I just gotta jump back down.  I have found that my counter snuffling and raiding at home has gotten me in pretty good shape for this, but I propose we refurnish our new facility with proper furniture appropriate for for all deputies, citizens and criminals alike.


Based on these examples and exhibits, I respectfully request the appropriation of funds for the updating of our Blogville Police Station and Jail.  I propose a new building with properly designed cells, rooms and offices.  My proposal also includes updated equipment and furniture.   With approval, I will submit plans for the facility and grounds, and purchase orders for the required supplies.


Thank you for your time and attention to this matter and I await your response.
Grr and an Official Woof,
Sarge, Chief Of Police
On behalf of the Blogville Police Force including:
Deputy Zona,
Deputy Bert,
Chief Investigator Pip,
Desk Clerk Mona.