September 29, 2012

Snicker Saturday...Jokes

A Good Chess Player
A man went to visit a friend and was amazed to find him playing chess with his dog. He watched the game in astonishment for a while. "I can hardly believe my eyes!" he exclaimed. "That's the smartest dog I've ever seen."
"Nah, he's not so smart," the friend replied. "I've beaten him three games out of five."

These Chickens Want Books
A pair of chickens walk up to the circulation desk at a public library and say, 'Buk Buk BUK.' The librarian decides that the chickens desire three books, and gives it to them...and the chickens leave shortly thereafter.
Around midday, the two chickens return to the circulation desk quite vexed and say,' Buk Buk BuKKOOK!' The librarian decides that the chickens desire another three books and gives it to them. The chickens leave as before.
The two chickens return to the library in the early afternoon, approach the librarian, looking very annoyed and say, 'Buk Buk Buk Buk Bukkooook!' The librarian is now a little suspicious of these chickens. She gives them what they request, and decides to follow them.
She followed them out of the library, out of the town, and to a park. At this point, she hid behind a tree, not wanting to be seen. She saw the two chickens throwing the books at a frog in a pond, to which the frog was saying, "Rrredit Rrredit Rrredit..."

Top 9 Signs Your Cat Has Learned Your Internet Password
9. E-mail flames from some guy named "Fluffy."
8. Traces of kitty litter in your keyboard.
7. You find you've been subscribed to strange newsgroups like alt.recreational.catnip.
6. Your mouse has teeth marks in it... and a strange aroma of tuna.
5. Hate-mail messages to Apple Computers, Inc. about thier release of "CyberDog."
4. Your new ergonomic keyboard has a strange territorial scent to it.
3. You keep finding new software around your house like CatinTax and WarCat II.
2. On IRC you're known as the IronMouser.
and the #1 Sign Your Cat Has Learned Your Internet Password...
1. Little kitty carpal-tunnel braces near the scratching post.

Alligator Shoes
A man was on holiday in the depths of Louisiana, where he tried to buy some Alligator shoes. However he was not prepared to pay the high prices, and after having failed to haggle the vendor down to a reasonable price level, ended up shouting "I don't give two hoots for your shoes man, I'll go and kill my own "croc!," to which the shopkeeper replied, "by all means, just watch out for those two "ole boys" who are doing the same!".
So the man went out into the Bayou, and after a while saw two men with spears, standing still in the water. 'They must be the 'ole boys' he thought. Just at that point he noticed an alligator moving in the water towards one of them. The guy stood completely passive as it came closer.
Just as the beast was about to swallow the him, he struck home with his spear and wrestled the gator up onto the beach, where several were already laying.  Together the two guys threw the gator onto its back, where-upon one exclaimed "Darn! This one doesn't have any shoes either!".

Okay, so feel free to groan now!  BWAR HAR HAR
Booooo, these are so  bad.
Grr and a Laughing Woof,
Sarge, COP

September 27, 2012


Hello, my good furiends.  I am so sad about the loss of our beloved Mango.  I wanted to share this with all of you...

Last Friday night my peeps went to a Chinese Restaurant for dinner (without me BOOOOO).  Mom opened her fortune cookie and on the reverse side of her fortune, was this:

We were all so happy to see this reminder of our furiend.  I think all of Blogville loved finding things like this.  I was saving it for my next Snicker Saturday, but it seems more appropriate to post it now as a reminder of our MRH.

Grr and a Sad Woof,
Sarge, COP

September 26, 2012


My good furiends, please stop by to give condolences to the pack of our Relentlessly Huge furiend Mango.  He has crossed the bridge and left us oh so very saddened. 

Sarge, Lori, Stan

Wordless Wednesday...Up

Grr and Woof,
Sarge, COP

September 24, 2012

Crabby Monday...Dino Day

Hello Blogville & Toodle-ooo to Turkle!

This is me, Shelldon, asking all of you for some help.

See, I'm always looking for fun ways to liven up our crabitat and generally give Beachnut and me some excitement.  I tried the S&B good.   Beachnut hated the noise, the crowds, the exhaust, the terror of getting squashed.  Okay, I can see her point on that one.  I tried the S&B Golf good.  Beachnut hated the noise, the crowds, and the terror of getting whacked by a 9 iron.  Okay, so I can see her point on that one too.

Well, this time I thought I had the perfect idea!
Here's the sign for our new adventure!

Isn't this great?!?    
I thought it was a fabulous idea!   A dinosaur theme park!

 Just look at the layout!
It's so perfect.  Lots of dinos all over the place.  
On the ground, in the water, in the air!

Was Beachnut impressed......NO NO NO!   OH MY CLAWD did she ever throw another fit!  She really hit the crabitat roof over this one.   "What have you done now, Shelldon!?!" she screamed.  "These things are gigantic...and have big teeth...and WHAT IS THIS?!?"
 I tried to calm her down....I told her, that's the S&B Dinosaur Theme Park TAR PIT, of course!  It's a important part of the park.  OMC I think she's missing the novelty of this!
Look at the dinos in the Tar Pit...burble, glub, blurple...they're sinking right in. It's just like the real thing!     There's Beachnut looking it over.  Not impressed.   She thinks we'll get stuck in there and end up packed into a barrel of oil.

I finally just stayed over here next to the pond and laid low while she fretted and complained.  I just don't get it.  DO YOU?!?   Can you friends help me understand?!?  OMC she's steamed.
 BTW: Cool purple stegosaur in that pond, huh!
 BTW again:  Check out that cool fossil behind me!  The Hands brought this back to us from their recent vacation.  Right next to that blue-n-white dino's head, you can see a dark colored shell fossil.  That's so awesome!   Perfect for our park.  

Here's Beachnut walking away in a huff.  "This is CRAZY!" she hollered at me.

I think peeps will love it.  I told her, "Hey, the kids will think it's great!"   To which she replied, "You dummy...we don't HAVE ANY KIDS!".

Shesh.  I give up.  I've already started to dismantle the dino park.  Boohoo.

Say, does anyone out there need a TRex or Pterodactyl?  Cheap?    Okay, Free?   OMC this is bad.

Little Pinches,
Surprised Shelldon
and Bothered Beachnut

BTW once more:  Sarge whispered in our ears that there's a big hoopdie-doo at the Blogville Court House sure to check in with Mayor Frankie to see the happenings!

September 22, 2012

Snicker Saturday...Frankie

Hey Everyone!
Wow, I have a really great chuckle for you today!   You all probably know that my peeps recently left me doing full-time inspection work for several days in our local correctional facility while they went on vacation with Frankie, Ernie, Mamaw and Papaw Pantslegs.  Well, I forgive everyone since I was getting some much needed Chief of Police duties handled...but I missed everyone.

Anyway, so, on to the laugh.   While on vacation, Frankie and Ernie got to spend some time getting in touch with nature...literally!  BOL  

Okay, here we go...

A good boy retrieving his prey.

Another good dog being a top hunter.

A (well-known) furry dog with green sticky burrs in his ears.

Same furry dog getting burrs and twigs combed from his fur.

Oh, BWAR HAR HAR!   Get it?!?!   Frankie got his furs all in a twist fur real!  All tangled in burrs from running in the bushes.  He's a Burr'ed Dog!   OMD that's BOL funny!

I hope you enjoyed your weekly snicker.   More about the family vacation in some future posts.
Grr and Woof,
Sarge, COP

September 21, 2012

For Our Pal Pip

 Hey Everyone!
Wow, today is such an amazingly special day!   We're all joining together to wish our bestest furiend, Pip a most wonderful barkday.    Buddy, I hope your day is full of love, treats, scritches and fun!

 You deserve two special cakes today!

Enjoy your day, my very good furiend.
Grr and Woof,
Sarge, COP

September 12, 2012

BTS Decorate Your Backpack Booth part 2

 Hey Everyone!
Wow, I'm having a great time with our Back To School Bash!  The classes are interesting and fun, the food is great and I love seeing all of you, my good furiends.  There is a lot going on, so see Frankie's blog for all of the details.  There are classes happening everywhere, food is available, and we are having a raffle!  Here are the raffle prizes from me and Frankie.  There is also a beautiful gray and navy scarf.  Tickets are $1 each and you can see Mona & Weenie's blog to get your tickets.  Proceeds to the Houston Pittie Pack!  Here is the prize pack from me and Frankie:

Okay, so the DECORATE YOUR BACKPACK BOOTH that I'm hosting has been amazingly busy with so many of you joining me to create you own special design!  I'm so happy to see all of you and watch how you make your backpack say special things about you and your lives.   SO FAR SO one has cut their own fur with the scissors, glued their paws to the floor or spelled their names wrong!  BWAR HAR HAR!  

Please be sure to go backward to the 6am post to see the first half of the backpacks!
Here are the rest of your creations!

My good furiends, you have such a huge variety of likes and interests and your backpacks really show off your favorite things!  I'm totally impressed.  I hope all of you had fun putting your pack designs together.  I'll be seeing all of you at the classes and other events today!  Thanks to all 53 of you for joining me in my Decorate Your Backpack Booth!
Grr and Woof,
Sarge, COP