THE HAND here to attempt to set the record straight.
SARGE BIT ME!!!!
Let me say that again, for those of you who might have missed the first sentence...
SARGE BIT ME!!!!
Okay? Whew, it feels better to get that out there for all to see. Yes, he really did. Now, I won't testify that it was a horrible, near-death experience. I swear under oath that there was no broken skin, no blood, no amputation, no nasty bruising. But, I also testify before all that he REALLY DID BITE ME! The scene involved the camera and my attempts to take a series of photos for use on Sarge's blog. Yes, I was working for HIM. Apparently, he got tired of the process and as I reached for his collar HE BIT MY POINTER FINGER. For those of you with only paws or claws or fins or talons and not fingers, YES THEY HURT WHEN BITTEN! No permanent damage done, but it did hurt.
Under cross examination, I freely admit that at the time I unleashed (lol) a shocking string of HBO words that would make a sailor blush. Yes, I did. But, I maintain that I was provoked, and chomped on at the time and therefore under duress. And that's the facts, jacks.
So, no blog and no Chief of Police job. Ptthththttthhht. There, take that, Sarge!
I ask the court of public opinion...Were you all aware that HE BIT ME???
Oh, and by the way, the poor Crabby Girls had no clue about this! They are not part of any subversive attempt to overthrow Sarge. Someone had to take over the blog, and they are much cuter and funnier than me! BOL/MOL/POL
The prosecution rests.
The (sore) Hand
Hmmm cross examination. We're treats involved in this photo taking session...did the hand smell of treats? Was said finger simply a case of mistaken identity....that of a tasty treat? We all know the police force are lean mean fighting machines...always on diets to maintain the ready to fight body (except the ones that eat way to many donuts) did the hand tempt the lean mean fighting machine?
We're with Reilly and Denny in thinking that some treat teasing must have been going on for Sarge to even put his nose on The Hands finger. After all how best to get his attention to take a picture than waving a treat in front of him?
Millie & Walter
HEY... HAND... YES, YOU!! WHERE are the PICTURES?? WHERE are the Eyeball Witnesses??? WHERE is your DOGtor's Report?????? Where is your BRAIN???
NOPE... we are NOT BUYING this. WE believe from the tips of our noses to the tips of our tails.. that this was a PIGMENT of YOUR imagination.
OUR SARGE would NOT Bite you... UNLESS it was Deserved and only THEN when SERIOUSLY PROVOKED.. OR if he was trying to prevent YOU from being bitten by SQUIRREL.. which you may NOT have seen.. Due to your short sightedness. JUST SAYIN.
LET SARGE OUTTA THE DAWGHOUSE and LEAVE his EMPLOYMENT ALONE.
Did you somehow get your finger caught in Sarge's collar thus making him think that he was being choked to death...could this be a case of self preservation? FREE SARGE!
So you freely admit that you were provoking the defendant with torment by flashy beast?! Ladies and gentlemen, I think that is CASE CLOSED!
Sometimes the Pupperatzi just gets on OUR NERVES!
XXXOOO Daisy, Bella & Roxy
He was provoked!
Bottom line, it's your fault
Benny & Lily
Poor Sarge... The stress of performing drove him to it...
Post a Comment