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November 21, 2012

Proposal for Blogville PD






Hey Everyone!
Wow, I have had something on my canine brain for a while now, and I'm finally ready to step up to the plate and let fly!     Here goes:::::



To Mayor-Elect Madi
From Sarge, Chief Of Police
Date  November 21, 2012

Subject:  Remodel of Blogville Police Station and Jail

Ms Madi, I humbly submit that our current facility is in need of modernization.  The station and jail are rather old and, well, um.....how to say this....okay, it was built for peeps!    It is my hope that with your leadership and the support of the community, my proposal will be accepted.

I offer the following exhibits to support my request.

 

We have just a little bit of deterioration here...
well, okay, lots of it!   It's totally drafty in the Winter cold!
BOL   ahem.



 Picture of our current jail cells.    Certainly designed for peeps.  I mean look at the height of those shelves!   A tall prisoner could reach, but everyone else is stuck trying to climb.  Bad news for the vertically-challenged.  Note the lack of trees, litter boxes, newspapers or straw.     Besides, check out that ugly lime green....YUCK!!



And, these bars...See how high the locks are!  
 I can barely reach them even on my tippy-toes.


Another exhibit for your consideration... Please consider our lineup room!   
See the height markings on that wall?
RIGHT...IT'S DESIGNED FOR PEEPS.  
 Sure, a great dane or a horse or a giraffe could line up here, 
but it's pretty useless for most of our needs.


Now, this conference room is in pretty good shape, but check out the furniture.
I submit that these chairs and tables are suited for peeps.  Now, I can jump into a chair and even stand on a table when I need to, but really, I request new furniture tailor-made for us.



Please accept this exhibit as justification for the purchase of new equipment.  For example, this is our current printing equipment...again, great for peeps, lousy for us.  IT'S A "FINGER" PRINTER!   FINGER, not paw, claw, talon, hoof, etc.    Small paws can be printed on this, but for larger criminals, this just doesn't work.   For the sake of professionalism, we should quit using finger paint, paint rollers, and big pads of paper.  BOL  ahem.   Here are some of the more unfortunate experiences we've had:

What a mess!  Gotta be a better way to print a perp!




 Our current computer systems are actually sufficient, however, the front desk is peep-height.  I can do this for quite awhile, then I just gotta jump back down.  I have found that my counter snuffling and raiding at home has gotten me in pretty good shape for this, but I propose we refurnish our new facility with proper furniture appropriate for for all deputies, citizens and criminals alike.


Based on these examples and exhibits, I respectfully request the appropriation of funds for the updating of our Blogville Police Station and Jail.  I propose a new building with properly designed cells, rooms and offices.  My proposal also includes updated equipment and furniture.   With approval, I will submit plans for the facility and grounds, and purchase orders for the required supplies.


Thank you for your time and attention to this matter and I await your response.
Grr and an Official Woof,
Sarge, Chief Of Police
On behalf of the Blogville Police Force including:
Deputy Zona,
Deputy Bert,
Chief Investigator Pip,
Desk Clerk Mona.











28 comments:

3 doxies said...

I personally likes da paw paint, I has had some good times in dat stuffs.
Howevers, I will has to agree on da jail cell, since I spend alot of time in theres, I would like a heatin' pad, extra blankies, a fridge, and definitely da shelves is too high fur me to store my Cheetos up theres.
I also concur withs da line up...there is no line fur doxies.

Puddles

Lovable Lily said...

We too agree Sarge! That is no place for the likes of us. It just doesn't work at all. And I can only imagine what the 'exercise pen' looks like outside. I bet there's not one lick of green grass anywhere in sight!

Please Mayor Madi, when you are sworn in and take office, help Blogville out and set aside the funds to update the station & jail.

Hugs,
Lily Belle & Muffin

Uji, Izzy, Ziggy + Missi said...

Wee totallys agree wivs dis , Zigs woods be okays in a line up cos hims is mahoosive butts yoo woods never spots Missi n hers is bounds to getted arressted befur longs cos her is a likkle menace

Lovs
Uji n Izzy
xxxxxxxxxxx

Susie and Sidebite said...

Thank you Sarge for speaking up. We ask, no we demand, our standards are much higher then the perps who used to use this facility. Madi after the swearing in PARTY we want new stuff or we will call for action from all of Blogville to march on you offices.

Your Loyal Supporters
Susie & Bites

Molly The Wally said...

Pawsome paw prints, ha ha and the lime green, yikes. We back you Sarge as we agree a mega refurb is needed asap. I wouldn't like to spend at night in those cells. Your case was well put. Have a wonderful Wednesday.
Best wishes Molly

Mr. Pip said...

I've spent some time in that jail cell and it ain't pretty. The lime green gets to you after awhile ...I am sure Madi will come through with some remodeling cash!

Your pal, Pip

Mollie said...

Yikes,green slime.That needs a total refub Sarge.. I'm sure Madi, will be flashing the cash now..BOL xx00xx

Mollie and Alfie

GOOSE said...

I would also suggest you propose that Miss Puddle be consulted on this whole remodel thing. After all it is like her home away from home.
Blessings,
Goose

Amber DaWeenie said...

I agrees. Butt how bout keepin da old one fur da tree rats and makin a new 5-star one fur da rest of Blogville!

:)

Casey said...

Wow! Not having spent any time in jail, I had no idea how dire the situation is. I'm totally in support of this.

But, um, you're not going to raise taxes for it, are you? My treat money is getting pretty tight as it is.

Reilly / Denny Cowspotdogs said...

An excellent proposal - we will second, third and fourth the motion!

Anna the GSD said...

How can anyone say no to such convincing evidence?? I mean, real police work evidence?!?!

Declan said...

Errr mate, given that it's only Pudds who ever ends up there, it doesn't need to be very big does it? hehe! Deccy x

Madi and Mom said...

DEAREST SARGE TOP COP OF BLOGVILLE!!
THANK YOU SO VERY MUCH FOR YOUR WELL WRITTEN MEMO. IT IS CLEAR, TO THE POINT AND THE PICTURES PROVIDED ARE CERTAINLY PROOF POSITIVE OF THE DIRE STRAITS THE COP SHOP IS IN....YES INDEED PROCEED WITH PLANNED RENOVATIONS AND SEND THE BILL TO
FRANKIE FURTER AND ERNIE...AFTER ALL THE RENOS WILL BE MADE ON THEIR WATCH. MOL MOL MOL...THEY DON'T CALL CATS SNEAKY SLY THINGS FOR NO REASON.
RESPECTFULLY SUBMITTED
MADI(SON) D. CAT
MAYOR ELECT 2013

Murphy said...

Ah, we can easily see the current facilities are in dire need of demolition and replacement! We look forward to Mayor Madi's response!

Your Pals,

Murphy & Stanley

Bassetmomma said...

That jail definitely needs a reno! I think a hands on tour of the jail and a trip to PetSmart would help sway the Mayor. :)

The Slimmer Pugs, Kitties, and Mama said...

Wesa concur Sarge! Don't forget the visiting rooms with our cell peeps. Wesa were visiting Pip once and neither of us'uns could reach the stools and the phones to talk to one another. It was a pointless excursion.
Much Luvums,
The Slimmer Puggums
George, Gracie, Toby, Lily, & Mimi

Golden Woofs! SUGAR said...

Woof! Woof! Oh my lots to take in with this news.
Just passing by to say Happy Thanksgiving. Hello to Frankie n Ernie too ... missing them. Lots of Golden Woofs, Sugar

Asta said...

Sawge
Thank dog that you awe so awawe of all these deficiencies. I think yoow pwoposal is mowe than justified speshully based on those photos. It's a shameful situashun and I'm shoowe ouw Mayow elect will appwove those fundses

I am expecting yoo fow dinnew, saving yoo the biggest piece of tuwkey and I have a vewy coxy wawm place fow us to snooze aftew
Soochie kisses
Asta

Ruby said...

Very good proposal Sarge!! Totally agree, renovation is a MUST! I can't even imagine what the exercise yard looks like! We need lots of grass and trees (gotta have recreation aka: barkin' at tree rats!), and don't forgets some straw and wood shavings for the piggies!
Great work Sarge.

Kisses,
Ruby

scotsmad said...

You've got our support. Something needs to be done.

XXXOOO Daisy, Bella & Roxy

Rubie and Poots (her Mum) said...

Wow - I didn't know our pawlice office and lock-up was so bad..... Don't know how Puddles has coped in there - not being able to reach your own Cheetos!!!

I support a total refurb!

Tail Wuggles, Rubie xxx

finnhoward said...

Those are some serious conditions Sarge! Ididnt know you worked in such dire straits. Hope Madi comes through on this one!

Nola said...

Those are dire conditions!
Nola

Two French Bulldogs said...

Oh Sarge, mom thought you stole pictures from her job, BOL.
We are hosting an Angry Bird Hartz holiday giveaway on Tuesday, November 27. Just leave a comment. Not sure if you wanted to put it on the calendar
Thank you
Benny & Lily

Val , Kate, The Cute Kitten ,Razzy, Kepsey,Darwin ,Charon and Echo. said...

Woof! Kate suggests more bookshelves on the walls, and radishes for the food! Woof? She also is suggesting neon yellow and pink walls! Woof????
I am also looking for a job as a Jr. Police assistant! Woof! I'm also recommending Kate to be a metal patient ! Woof! Now, SHE IS GIVING ME THE EVIL EYE! RUN! -Echo

Wyatt said...

Do we need to vote on a ballot measure or should we just send a check?
Will $870,000 cover it?

Wyatt and Stanzie

dougall.dog said...

Seams reasonable!