Thursday Torture

Hey everyone!
Wow, the other day my peeps got all out-of-hand and beyond my control!  I have a great big gripe for the complaint department.

So, to start with, my peeps left me.  They do that all the time and I never have a sense of humor about it.  Well, they left me and must have gone way, way, way, far away.

When they (finally) came back, they brought this massive box in with them.  Okay, I give.  Moooooommmmmm, what's in the box?????

I took a good look at the box and it said "SHARK" on it!    OMD OMD OMD
They lost their peep-minds and brought home Jaws.
I'm pretty sure I'm going to have to move out.

See?!?  Not only is it a SHARK, but it's a PROFESSIONAL SHARK.
Now, I'm no marine biologist, but I'm guessing that means this Jaws is better at shark things than the average Great White.  This is looking really bad to me.

So, then they start opening the box to let it out.  GASP!
Well, long story short (not really), it was not the ocean-type shark at all.  I thought it was pretty odd that the box wasn't leaking water all over my floor.  Anyway...when they are all done, here's what lived in the box:
 

That's right, my furiends!  It may not have been Jaws, but it was bad enough.  It's a new VACULA!  Man-O-Man I hate these things.  Obviously.  I tried my Sarge-est to scare it away, but it seems to be intent on staying.  My crazy Mom is going all squeeee for this nasty thing. 

You can see for yourself what I think of it.  She kept going on and on and on and on and on and on about it being such a great worker.  Whatever.  I will say it sucked up my floor-fur in great big (fast) gulps.  Okay, I get it....but I still don't like it.

On top of that, when I said they must have gone far far far away to get this beast, I wasn't kidding!  I checked them out and they apparently went clear all the way to China to get this thing!  Seriously, when I gave them a good whiffle, they had Oriental-smelling breath.  No doubt about it...they went to China while they were out.  At least they brought me some food in one of those white boxes.  It tasted a little funny, but I ate it anyway.  Had these little, iddy, biddy, tiny corn cobs in there.  Strange.  After that long a trip, it's a wonder they made it back at all!


Talk about torture.  See what I have to live with?!?
Grr and a Miffed Woof,
Sarge, Grouch